I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Sober January is a disaster.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
