I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
