i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
