Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
