I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
