i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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