just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
