Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
There's always time for handjobs
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
