I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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