You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
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