So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
