She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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