Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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