Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
