Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
operation harelip BJ is a go
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
