We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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