i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
