I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
