how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize
