Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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