i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
