My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I smell like Dick and happiness
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
