but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Dignity is for republicans.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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