so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
