In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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