I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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