After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I'm passing your future prison.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Randomize
