we have officially lost it.
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
