My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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