those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize