I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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