I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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