Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
