I will die if light touches me.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
