I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
