I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
