so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
