His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
apparently the secret to your success is patron
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
