i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
