I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
