wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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