And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
