Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
ttyl tear gas
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
