There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
God, I missed his penis.
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