the condom got lost in my hair
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
