so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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