I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize
