yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Randomize
