There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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