She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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