Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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