Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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