i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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