so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
