Can i not drive my cunt home
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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