I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
My nipple is on Facebook.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
My apartment stinks of burning failure
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
