I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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