erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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