i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize