were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
