no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
