I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
this will be a night to untag.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
