I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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