how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
